Kim started crying
at the thought of her baby boy being as cynical as me
I thought, ‘oh well, she cries all the time’
And it was not a big deal
But secretly I hope, since I have to hope secretly
That you’re even meaner and colder than me
That you’re mood’s always light, your best dresser is Samsonite
It only takes one man, just zip it and roll
Except for the good fellas that keep you company
as you drink yourself into a hole
That when you get lonely, and need something, somewhere,
You keep your wits about you and do like I taught you
Keep your wits about you and you hug the side of the road
That your heart never melts, that’s indigestion you felt
And your greatest fear is always me and my belt
That you listen to no one but me
And don’t listen too carefully
That you fall in love with your own face and figure
You don’t need a lover that needs you to be with her
You can puke all over my guitar, and take a big dump in my car
And then moon around the house when you get in trouble
And see where that takes you, and how far
You can stay in your blue underoos,
and I won’t be embarrassed for you
They might tease you at school, but I know some good folks
Who wish they had done that, too
That your heart never melts, that’s indigestion you felt
And that you listen to no one but me
That you fall in love with your own face and figure
And that you’re even colder than me
And no one will touch you, and nothing will hurt you
And everyone’s scared of you, and you have no friends
Except for the good fellas that keep you company